Parenting can be a tough job to execute. If you tend to ask for something or have just ordered your child to do something and they just won’t listen to you, chances are that you are going to get mad. No matter how you put it there is a lot of science included in parenting. If you are tired of being ignored and annoyed by your kids and no matter what you do just don’t seem to work. We have gathered some tips and tricks that can help you cope up with this problem.
Firstly, we need to address the problem from the very start. So, the question is simple why don’t kids listen to you? However, the answer is not that simple, there are a thousand psychological possibilities that may be the cause of your child not listening to you but the most common of them is that kids of all ages from toddlers to teens have a hard-wired need for power. This means that they strive for power which they don’t have for example; going out on their own, having their liked food etc. When they are unable to obtain these powers, they exert negative powers which results in them not listening to you. As kids of all ages have the basic control over their body they use their body language to show their neglection and power. They do this to express that they require more power and control over their lives and they should be able to make their decisions on their own.
However, it is equally important to notice that what exactly are you terming to as “not listening attitude” as sometimes it could be different. Kid goes through different problems and you should first understand the cause of not listening to your problem. If that has something to do with a physical or mental health problem such as; stress, hunger, etc. try to counter it by resolving the issue and everything will be fine but if the case of not listening is solely for power, we have got you covered with the tips and tricks to get your kids to listen.
TIPS & TRICKS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO LISTEN:
Be on their Level Try to talk and communicate by getting to the level of your child to strengthen the communication. For that make sure that you reach your child and talk while maintaining eye contact. With this behavior of yours not only do you eliminate the factor that they might not have heard you but also makes the communication strong. This may sound easy and obvious, but it isn’t the way it looks at most of the time parents tend to order and shout from far away and complain that their kids won’t listen.
- Tell them what to do instead of what not to do
If you use don’t in your sentence chances, it sends a negative impact on your kid. Kids try to process the given statement with what they shouldn’t do? And what should they do instead?
With this double process, your kid can easily get confused and won’t be able to understand the appropriate behavior that he or she may take. To counter this problem, it is advised to use proper specific statements in which you tell your kid what to instead of the things that he or she must not do.
- Try to use YES more often
Every day parents are bombarded with questions and requests as kids are always wanting something as they try to clear out their curiosity. No matter how you put it the most common answer to the request by kids is answered as NO.
Similar to “DON’T” “NO” is also a negative statement to use and you should avoid it. Instead of saying NO tend to answer with YES more often. This doesn’t mean to agree to all the requests but if you tend to say no try to convert and convey your message in a positive way.
“Can I Play Outside”
“Yes, sure but as it is hot out there right now, we will play outside in the evening”.
- Shorten your Speech
No one is interested in long lectures and similar to adults, kids tend to lose focus of what is being said if the speech is too long. Try to be short, concise, and concrete with your statements, with this behavior the kid will listen to you with full attention and with complete concise instruction, he or she won’t get the chance to cut you off and set you off track.
- Use Thank You more often
If you are requesting your kid to do a task, try to use thank you in advance. Similarly, if a task is completed make sure to use thank you. This motivates your kid to improve their behavior and stay motivated to even better. And if you use Thank you in advance more like adults, kids take on the responsibility and try to obey you as you give them a sense of trust and strengthen the communication through the use of THANK YOU.
- Teach-Back Method
In the medical field, researchers have shown that around 40 to 80% of the information doctors state to patients is either forgotten or misunderstood.
To counter the problem of this misunderstanding, doctors begun using the teach-back method. In the teach-back method, the patient teaches back the doctor what they just learned about the instructions that were given them. This method has proven to drastically have a significant impact on the patients understanding.
This method can also be used on kids through which you can find similar results. Make sure that you make the statement concise and concrete and once you finish, tell your kid to repeat the statement for what he or she understood. With this method, both of you can be at ease that you are on the same page, which will surely change the outcome for the better.
In conclusion, parenting is surely a hard task to execute but through proper attention and understanding of each behavior, you can find solutions to every problem and make your kid improve his/her performance for better.